One year ago I wrote about the start of COVID back when we had no idea how bad it would truly get all over the world. Of course the people in charge knew what was happening, but for those of us laypeople, COVID was and is as scary as we could imagine. One year to this day I blogged about my anxiety around the unknowns of this global pandemic especially as I wasn’t in the mental state I’m in today. I wrote “Unfortunately because everything in the world is basically shut down, we’re constantly bombarded with coronavirus news and truly horrendous responses from American “leaders.” I’ve already been dealing with my anxiety and depression (which has been documented well here, here, here, etc.) for the past five-ish years, so this overwhelming barrage of apocalyptic current events is less than stellar for my mental illnesses (as I’m sure many can relate to). We’re currently witnessing a breakdown of every single system across the world, and while it’s good for Americans to see that we can’t go back to what we had before (capitalism literally kills…please read my socialism post here!), dealing with all of the current medical emergencies and ultimately the fallout of the coronavirus is terrifying.” I feel extremely grateful that my family and friends have stayed healthy and safe and kept their jobs throughout the pandemic no matter how bad it’s gotten here. We’re some of the lucky ones and I don’t take that for granted ever. And although I still have lots of anxiety from one year of the pandemic, I stopped seeing my therapist last August. I could only talk about my trauma and emotions so much in the same manner and EMDR stopped suiting me, so I’ve been handling my anxieties through journaling more, meeting outside with my friends whenever we can, and changing my health habits. I’ve been working in person every day during the entirety of COVID, which has been really scary, but I’m privileged enough to be vaccinated and that’s helped me as well. I would love to gather my loved ones in big groups and spend time together, but that type of activity won’t be safe for while, so instead I’ll handle my emotions in our tiny gatherings and in my most prized notebook until we’re all protected again.